Ten Things My Husband Hated by Pauline Wiles

Author:Pauline Wiles [Wiles, Pauline]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780988973183
Published: 2019-11-11T16:00:00+00:00

~~~

After that, we barely had time to kick off a Queen soundtrack on Spotify, and throw more drinks in the iced-water dustbin, before guests began arriving.

‘I should have waited to make a grand entrance, but I was too excited, darling!’ Amelia strode into the cottage in stiletto heels, black cocktail dress, and a tiara which looked genuine. The plastic machine gun slung over her shoulder, thankfully, was not.

‘“Killer Queen”,’ Finn said. ‘Very appropriate, if you don’t mind me saying.’

‘You remember my friend Scott?’ Amelia introduced her companion.

‘I didn’t have much time for a costume.’ Scott gestured to the stick of rock jutting from his shirt pocket. ‘Sorry.’

‘No, no,’ I said. ‘“We Will Rock You”, very good.’

‘Or “Brighton Rock”,’ said Finn. ‘Two for the price of one.’

‘I told him he should do the one about being in love with his car.’ Amelia gave a sly grin and poked Scott in the chest.

A look passed between them then, and it was if they held a whole conversation in a few short seconds. I don’t believe in telepathy, but these two appeared to share an exclusive wavelength. It sent a shiver of regret and envy down my spine.

Other people began to stream into my cottage. Within minutes, the place was filled with shrieks of laughter as people tried to decipher each other’s costumes.

Violet, from the post office, arrived with her son, who turned out to be Peter. She had several lengths of ropes coiled around her. ‘I’m “Tie Your Mother Down”,’ she said with uncharacteristic levity. Peter himself, in slippers, cardigan, and a copy of the Sunday Telegraph tucked under one arm, admitted to ‘Lazing on a Sunday Afternoon’.

‘We couldn’t resist!’ Grace and Bella arrived together, along with Bella’s friend Sophie, plus Robyn. All four wore T-shirts and black leggings, and had padded themselves below the waist.

‘Not sure.’ It was time I got a drink in my hand, like everyone else. ‘The one about bicycles?’

‘Nope: “Fat Bottomed Girls”!’ they cackled, in unison.

‘Well,’ Sophie added, ‘once I heard Bella was doing the food, we wanted to be comfortable.’

And so it continued. Grace’s husband was ‘White Man’. Nancy had raided someone’s Halloween dressing up box to be ‘Cool Cat’, and dutifully chased ‘Great King Rat’ up and down the lane outside. The rodent in question turned out to be Bella’s boyfriend, Leo. Considerable applause went to Ted and Betsy. He was wearing a box painted to look like an old wireless set, while she appeared to be dressed as Zsa Zsa Gabor.

‘What the heck are they?’ I whispered to Amelia, not wanting to be rude to my guests and clients.

‘“Radio Ga Ga”!’ she chortled back. ‘Bloody priceless!’

But the unofficial winner, for creativity if nothing else, was Fergus from the pub. He arrived dressed top to toe in denim, a watermelon tucked under one arm, with a placid borrowed sheepdog on a lead.

‘First one to guess gets free beer for a week,’ he said, causing the party to grind to a halt while hopeful suggestions were made.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.